I’m Maggie.

I have social anxiety.

I get along well with horses and dogs, and I wish that we had majored in Math instead of English.

People are confusing.

So is all the hype around Shakespeare.

  • This is our horse, Chance.

    Chance is a 23-year-old grade Quarter Horse that we’ve owned for about eleven years now. He’s a lot like us—he may appear sweet and meek on the surface, but he’s a scrappy motherfucker deep down inside.

    We’ve been through a lot together.

    He’s pretty much my favorite person.

  • This is Chance's Girlfriend, Dilly.

    Dilly is a sassy Mustang that lives next to Chance. She’s about ten years younger than him, but she prefers a Mature Man. You can often find her flauntin’ it for Chance on the other side of the pasture fence, and it just drives him wild.

    (Well, he’s a gelding…so it doesn’t drive him THAT wild.)

    Basically, though, they’re like two peas in a pod.

  • This is Dilly's Secret Lover, Donte.

    Donte is our Trainer’s horse. He’s a Mustang like Dilly. Many years ago, Dilly and Donte made the long trailer ride from Nevada to Ohio together, and they formed a special bond in the process. To this day, they often go out on romantic trail rides on sunny afternoons.

    Don’t worry, though. Chance knows about it. He and Dilly are polyamorous. (Chance is very progressive that way.)

For the record, we loved Patti Smith before Taylor Swift turned it into a Thing.

…and this is me giving a middle finger.

[NOTE: Clementine and some of the others helped me write this section, because They like writing and I don’t.  I'm also very uncomfortable with the idea of tooting my own horn.]

Earlier this year, a group of people from the equestrian world began harassing us because we have DID.

They launched a devastating smear campaign within our community, spreading heinous lies about our overall character and the state of our mental health. They also said that we didn’t know squat about horses.

[Sam says: You know. We stumbled upon a Box o’ Petty Bitches.]

So, we’d like to set the record straight.

Maggie had several years of professional training when we were young, and while she’ll claim that she wasn’t God’s Greatest Gift to Equitation, she could certainly hold her own in the ring. (Showmanship was her jam.)

Maggie did, however, excel in “nerdy” equestrian activities, like Horse Bowl and Competitive Horse Judging. In high school, she traveled the country to compete at a variety of “big-time” events, like the Grand National & World Championship Morgan Horse Show, the Tennessee Walker National Celebration, and AQHYA Worlds, which is where she picked up this nifty jacket.

BUT. Here’s the thing: We are a system. Not everyone in the system knows about horses, and even fewer know how to ride well.

So, for instance, Clementine’s horse-handling skills are FAR inferior to Maggie’s. (No offense, Clem.) We can tell the difference between them. The horses can tell the difference, and we’re sure that other people can tell the difference, too.

But instead of being curious about the ways in which our knowledge and skills can fluctuate between our different “States of Consciousness,” the small-minded people in our community decided to slander our name.

The ironic thing about it is that many of the people responsible for the gossip weren’t nearly as accomplished as Maggie. But, you know how it is: Every once in a while, you come across people who don’t know enough to know what they don’t know.

::shrug::